Sociology and dating cocky and funny dating
We can now see that it is a convenient and relatively harmless satisfaction of the inclination to aggression, by means of which cohesion between the members of the community is made easier.” (Freud, “Hence the astonishing harmony of ordinary couples who, often matched initially, progressively match each other by a sort of mutual acculturation. Is it because we’re so reliant on this information anyway that when it’s so readily available we lean on it even more heavily?This spontaneous decoding of one habitus by another is the basis of the immediate affinities which orient social encounters, discouraging socially discordant relationships, without those operations having to be formulated other than in the innocent language of likes and dislikes.” (243)However, I think Ok Cupid leads us to rely too heavily on taste as a signifier of whether we’d get along with someone, or worse, as a reason to dismiss someone altogether. I’ll close off this section on Bourdieu with a quote about self-presentation that segues well into the next couple theories:“The interest the different classes have in self-presentation, the attention they devote to it, their awareness of the profits it gives and the investment of time, effort, sacrifice and care which they actually put into it, are proportionate to the amount of symbolic profit they can reasonably expect from it.” (202)“The ‘I’ of introspection is the self which enters into social relations with other selves.It is not the ‘I’ that is implied in the fact that one presents himself as a ‘me.’ And the ‘me’ of introspection is the same ‘me’ that is the object of the social conduct of others.One presents himself as acting toward others — in this presentation he is presented in indirect discourse as the subject of the action and is still an object, and the subject of this presentation can never appear immediately in conscious experience.The most obvious advice to make this better would seem to be to encourage women to send more messages, but this, too, can be problematic: “when I experimented with sending messages, men assumed I was desperate or that something was wrong with me,” a friend lamented (sorry, @pixelr8r, I non-consensually paraphrased you here.
Sure, personal ads have existed for ages, but the format of a personal ad is quite limited compared to Ok Cupid (or your online dating site of choice, I’m just using Ok Cupid because it’s the only one I’ve used), which combines photographs, a qualitative profile, an extensive personality quiz, socially-assigned ratings, testimonials, and more.) when, even in small ways that don’t have to replicate the rom-com meet cute, the encounter feels fortuitous.I guess my mushy side doesn’t quite want to let go of the idea of a pleasant surprise over a completely rationalized system of dating.Therefore, you have good reason to be a bit suspicious of how any person is presenting him or herself to you and you alone, in a completely one-on-one interaction.It’s extremely likely, if not certain, that that person is catering how they act to what they think you would like, especially on a date, where both parties have a certain end goal in mind.