Catholic dating guilt sex
My parents chose familial inclusiveness over standing on a principle. They wouldn't allow him to stay at their house with me when we came to visit.
That relationship ended up falling apart later, but in my next relationship I approached it differently. I stopped giving a shit because I had to focus on how much damage the church had caused me in terms of guilt, especially guilt linked to sex.
Hey everybody, I was having this discussion in comments, and I decided to make it a real post. We went to church every Sunday without fail and I attended Catholic school from Kindergarten through 12th grade.
Even though I had doubts about the faith, I was so immersed in the Catholic world that there wasn't really anywhere for me to explore these new thoughts.
I was 14 years old the day that I stood up in church and announced I was going to be a nun. I spent every minute outside of school at my parish. My wild streak didn’t lead me to boys; it led me straight to Jesús’s arms. The colors itched, and I knew the only thing that could make that itch stop was a boy. Everything tingled, and I teleported to heaven and back. We would have sex on my twin mattress, and I don’t know who I was more afraid of, God or my dad.
The summer I turned 16 was the summer that puberty hit me like a runaway train. It’s as if I had been a green mango all my life and suddenly I was ripening, there were all these colors growing inside of me. When my first boyfriend confessed his feelings to me, we were in his home. He kissed me, and I felt so many things that I wanted to cry. I was 18 when my boyfriend began climbing through my bedroom window almost nightly.
It's a long journey and I'm still working through remnants of guilt from the church, but it is getting better. This subreddit is for any and all ex-Catholics to talk, educate, discuss and maybe even bitch about their experiences within the Catholic Church.
Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more or want some more advice. I am trying to get to the "not giving a shit" part. I am just discovering how much damage the church has done to me. No matter what your belief now, or if you have no belief at all.
Those rules were to raise you from a child to an adult the best way your parents knew how.
I don't think there's anything anyone could say to make your guilt just go away.
It's going to be something you're going to have to try and overcome with time.
if not, just lie and tell them you're getting separate rooms. The kind of discussion you're having now my parents gave up on after my former-nun sister slept in the same room with her fiance--she was 27, he was 31. Not sure how my parents did it--maybe they were doubting it, themselves, but by the time I was a teen I already had serious doubts about how necessary Catholicism was to my happiness. That went the furthest toward relieving any lingering doubts I may have had about Catholicism. There's only two of us so it's like he got all the "Catholic gene" in the family. And good for your parents for allowing you to be raised free of that guilt. Raised Catholic, once I left for college I started living life my own way slowly, while still suffering Catholic guilt.
you don't need your parents' bullshit piling on to your already-heavy Catholic guilt. They were consenting adults, and if my parents didn't want them sleeping together under their roof they'd either take a room somewhere or just not come for Christmas. I know that my family will love me regardless, I'm not going to get cutoff from the family no matter what I do, but still, my parents will keep trying to "save" me. With my first boyfriend in college, my parents expressed disapproval when they started figuring out that we were staying over together at certain places.
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For example, if this relationship doesn't work out for some reason you might feel even worse for going against your Catholic upbringing. Non-Catholics and non-religious people have perfectly wonderful relationships as well as perfectly horrible ones, just like Catholics.